Becca's SexBlog

I <3 it ! I am using it already !!

2011-12-07T08:12:08.105-05:00

I <3 it ! I am using it already !!

no worries. Thanks for all the info :)

2011-11-23T21:35:18.260-05:00

no worries. Thanks for all the info :)

Hi! Totally just saw these. There are new Yes No...

2011-11-22T23:16:12.498-05:00

Hi!

Totally just saw these.

There are new Yes No Maybe Charts up at SmartHotFun.Com.

They are no called Want!Will...Won't Charts and are a bit more robust than the previous charts!

You can click here to get them!

http://www.smarthotfun.com/wantwillwontchart/charts/

I apologize for any sorrow caused! The charts were being hosted temporarily in webspace that wasn't renewed. My apologies!

-Becca

Hi Becca, the links to your yes/no/maybe files are...

2011-11-16T19:41:59.022-05:00

Hi Becca, the links to your yes/no/maybe files are dead.

Can you tell me where I can get those files? Can you post them at a new location please?

Neither link to the Yes No Maybe chart seems to wo...

2011-11-15T21:03:50.660-05:00

Neither link to the Yes No Maybe chart seems to work anymore. I am filled with sorrow.

Also, it's very poetic. Reminds me of the meld...

2011-11-15T15:47:16.664-05:00

Also, it's very poetic. Reminds me of the meld scenes from Avatar.

Thanks for this word. I'm so tired of hearing ...

2011-11-15T15:46:57.539-05:00

Thanks for this word. I'm so tired of hearing my normal female sexuality described as some sort of victimhood. I'ma start using this.

great post…. you have done great job….it very cool...

2011-06-20T01:29:13.819-04:00

great post…. you have done great job….it very cool blog. linking is very useful thing you have really helped lots of people who visit this blog and provided them this usefull information. thanks a lot for this..gud luck..regards,
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Many time i have visited here nice thing i have fi...

2011-06-11T11:00:46.251-04:00

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Brilliant. One of the very best I have read. Well ...

2011-06-10T02:41:03.690-04:00

Brilliant. One of the very best I have read. Well written, with style and intelligence. I have spent hours looking for erotica like this. Resorting to writing it myself.
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As per scrutiny … I also have a revolutionary stan...

2011-02-28T01:40:55.811-05:00

As per scrutiny … I also have a revolutionary stance on this related to my previous sentiment. So much of what is wrong with sex education (and education in general, for that matter) is adults fighting with adults over what adults want. I think that if we create good programming that works well for teens, they would fight alongside us when scrutiny and backlash occur, instead of us having to fight by ourselves, for ourselves. And when teens speak up, their parents hear them, the community hears them, and if you can get multiple teens to speak up, their voices resound with weight unlike any other. But I think because of the fear of scrutiny, we create watered-down versions of programming that our students don’t want to fight for or speak up for.

As per the teens who don’t like swearing, taking swearing out of a classroom is like taking sex education out of a school. Just because it isn’t there, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Discomfort is a part of life. By continuously shielding our youth from discomfort, it is my opinion that we miss opportunities to foster resilience (which I think is a huge part of sex ed). And because I know that teens aren’t used to taking on teachers, I had a rule (and I can’t remember how I phrased it) that it was the responsibility of the youth in my classroom to call me out when I f-ed up, and to talk to me if they were having any issues with the class. But, I’m a tough-love kind of teacher. It’s what works for my classroom space.

I had full support of my organization, and school administrations who knew that I was giving community and purpose to groups of students who may not have otherwise experienced as much. (I also did pre-post surveys showing big shifts in knowledge acquisition about pregnancy prevention, and increase in overall tolerance for other students. So, my methods, however unconventional in the eyes of adults, had some weight of proof behind them.

This comment is actually a response to comments ma...

2011-02-28T01:40:36.946-05:00

This comment is actually a response to comments made where this post was cross-posted:

http://heysexed.blogspot.com/2011/02/dropping-f-bomb-insight-on.html

Because it takes up two comment spaces, I didn't want to hijack the whole comment stream there. I also felt that the tone of the comment was more appropriate for this blog space.

BEGIN RESPONSE:
Gigi,

Yeah, I believe that a kid who is going to swear in other classrooms … probably wouldn’t be doing it JUST because I let them swear in mine. And, although I only obliquely mentioned this in the post, I did set up the swearing thing letting them know it probably wasn’t a good call to swear elsewhere.

Allison,

Yeah, I address the outside stakeholders question below.

Rebecca,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reflection on this piece. I want to address some of what you said, simply to share some more of my perspective. I should note that I articulate through impassioned means, and I believe that it sometimes comes off as argumentative and harsh. That is, in no way my intent, as I believe you raised some excellent points for educators to think about in regard to whether or not to allow swearing in the classroom.

If I did not articulate this well enough, I apologize. I think that if swearing is not something that an educator does well with, it should not be a part of their sexuality education classroom. I believe very strongly in creating a sexuality education space that works with the strengths of whomever facilitates it. I do think that open spaces can be created without swearing, but when I wrote this, I was highly moved by the words of some of my teens in regard to how swearing made the space more genuine to them.

I, also, in this post did not do enough to share my bias as a youth advocate. I believe very strongly that SO much of what is wrong with sexuality education for youth is that we create it through the lens of adult discomfort. Rather than talking to teens, seeing how they express themselves, seeing how they communicate, and then molding our programs to fit their paradigms in order to meet them where they’re at so they can more genuinely engage with the learning … we create programs that make youth meet us where we’re at. And although on the one hand it is so important to create a classroom space that is conducive to keeping one’s job, I see it on the other hand as an injustice. I think that framing programs around adult lenses for teens does teens a disservice because it does not recognize them fully as people, but rather as a lesser class of people bound by rules that adults themselves are not bound by in the greater world, generally. (I also believe that ‘teen’ is treated more like ‘child’ in this country.) I believe that teens are one of the most oppressed classes in our great nation, because adults pontificate about what is best for them, without actually asking them, despite the fact that teens, when given agency, are quite capable of articulating what they need. (My stance on this is also why I decided to include teen voices in this post).

Love this. my partner and I have a list like this...

2011-02-23T13:46:03.656-05:00

Love this. my partner and I have a list like this and recommend it to all. Nice way to keep things SPICY in a LTR.
The MamaSutra http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-MamaSutra/154597381240216

if one were to have a female partner can chlamydia...

2010-10-08T04:53:19.162-04:00

if one were to have a female partner can chlamydia be transmitted by oral vaginal sex? i.e., is it at all possible for the giver to become infected with Chlamydia by means of giving their female partner oral sex?

I don't think the links working... But the re...

2010-05-20T22:00:15.856-04:00

I don't think the links working...

But the rest is right on even without seeing it.

Just as a thought, you may want to check out the R...

2010-05-13T18:46:18.654-04:00

Just as a thought, you may want to check out the Romantic poet William Blake. He had a lot of children's poetry that dealt with just these same issues, but in such a way that more is revealed as the reader gets older. Maybe start with "The Garden of Love" ?

Are you guy's fucking kidding me; this chick w...

2010-05-08T15:14:34.272-04:00

Are you guy's fucking kidding me; this chick was fucking your Husband. This go to show how stupid woman’s thought process is. My props go to "Dude" he was fucking two chicks and got out with a clean slate. That amazing! More power to you "Dude"!

this is my favorite post of yours yet! brava!

2010-05-03T23:44:19.267-04:00

this is my favorite post of yours yet! brava!

Wow, that's awesome. :D You rock my socks! I...

2010-05-03T01:05:17.140-04:00

Wow, that's awesome. :D

You rock my socks! I'll keep using "enveloping" because I find it... easier for me to say. :p But I am hardly opposed to having multiple ways to express something.

Hi Corrine, TOTALLY noted. I changed the post ac...

2010-05-03T00:20:55.826-04:00

Hi Corrine,

TOTALLY noted. I changed the post accordingly.

-BB

Tanya! Thanks so much for repping reusable pads! ...

2010-05-02T00:56:06.717-04:00

Tanya! Thanks so much for repping reusable pads!

I think that they're an absolutely wonderful choice for those out there that prefer an non-internal method. I think they're also wonderful for folks who are crafty enough to sew their own!

Mad props, and thanks for the comment.

To Carrie, Thank you for your kind words and sent...

2010-05-01T23:51:54.687-04:00

To Carrie,

Thank you for your kind words and sentiment. It means a lot to me to hear from you directly (so to speak, ha).

As per Bob's comment, I understand and can appreciate your reaction as, out of context, that comment does seem like it got pulled out of his ass. Heh. However, as Bob is my dad, the comment is pulled from a greater context, and actually has nothing to do with Dude's character. I can guarantee you that the comment isn't entirely malicious, as I think it's simply an expression of the inherency of the transference of a daughter's pain to her father. He was hurting because I was hurting and he wanted me not to hurt anymore.

As that is the case, I can't apologize for the comment itself, but I do apologize for any distress it may have caused.

As per my journey, that is incredibly undecided, but I want to thank your for the good energy. Know that I'm sending good energy right back in you and your family's direction.

I read this yesterday and spent all night thinking...

2010-05-01T13:21:01.708-04:00

I read this yesterday and spent all night thinking about it, which is why I'm posting a comment now instead of then.

As the "Wifey" in this story, I want to say to Becca that you sound like an amazing person. "Dude" has only spoken highly of you and despite the life-altering turmoil that's been going on in our lives the past few months, you have been a positive light in his life. I want to thank you for that. "Dude" would be lucky to have someone like you in his life; trust me, he knows that. I think you guys still have something to talk about if either of you want to.

But the thing that kept me up last night was Bob's fucked-up comment. I don't think Becca implied anywhere in her post that "Dude" was a weasel. In fact, Bob, "Dude" is the most amazing man I've ever met. We've been together for 20 years. He has been nothing but loyal and kind and has provided for me and our children. To make such a hurtful, uninformed remark like that certainly shows me what kind of person you are. His family is blessed; our relationship may not have worked as we hoped it would so many years ago but even though we're where we are now, I would still lay down in traffic for such an awesome person. I think it's great that you're offering Becca support and all, but come on, man. You're just talking out your ass.

Becca, if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. Sending you love and good energy for your journey, whichever direction it takes you...

yur better off without the weasel. let his family ...

2010-04-29T22:14:43.077-04:00

yur better off without the weasel.
let his family suffer his existence.