Monday, April 12, 2010

Sex? WTF is Sex?

First, my apologies for this post being on the later side. After a long ass weekend of crazy hardcore studying so that I could rock a presentation on the physiology of Chlamydia AND pass a test on sexual physiology … I did not want to use the brain at all. But luckily, my brain is pretty resilient, and we’re back in business. So let’s get to it!

So, this is a sexblog, right? Right.

Being as that this is a sexblog, I’ve decided that I’ve missed a very important opportunity to take the time to give you all a solid definition for the word 'Sex.'

My apologies for those of you who have been reading this and have been like … wait, sex? WTF is sex?

So … wtf IS sex?

Aside from being the second track on Oomph!’s album ‘Sperm’, sex, in the way that I think most peeps think about it, has two main definitions.

One definition is talking about biological sex. I.e. when a baby pops out of a vag or gets pulled out of a uterus surgically, or whatever … the doc opens up the baby’s legs, looks at the tiny genitals and goes: “This baby is a ….” And then based on that, we either slap a football in its hand or tell it it’s going to be a great mother someday. This is not the kind of sex that I will be defining for you today (although based on my previous statement, perhaps I need to dedicate some blog time to it).

So what am I talking about then?

SEX. Sex. Sssssseeeexxxxx.

Say the word. Roll it around in your mouth and in your brain. What do you think of?

If you’re a dictionary, my guess is you think that word means sexual intercourse … which in dictionaryland is most commonly defined as a penis going into a vagina (i.e. coitus).

Some of you, even if you’re not dictionaries, may have thought that as well.

I’m guessing that many of you thought of something that was completely different. Maybe what you thought about didn’t have anything to do with a penis. Maybe it didn’t have to do with a vagina. Maybe it involved other parts of the body. Maybe it didn’t involve two people. Maybe it involved more than 2 people.

For those of you whose definitions of sex don’t line up with the dictionary, I’m here to assure you that you are 100% correct in your definition.

Because, the thing about sex is that there is no simple dictionary definition that can encompass what sex really is. Not to mention that the dictionary definition of sex implies that the only kind of sex you can have is heterosexual sex designed for making babies. Most of the sex that we have in this world is not designed for making babies, and I definitely know that non-hetero folks have sex too.

So the meaning of the word sex is totally up to you to define.

If walking through a field of daises holding hands with your partner is sex to you … then it is.

If putting your penis in a vagina is sex to you … then it is.

If having peanut butter licked off your toes while you sing the national anthem is sex to you … then it is.

If putting your vulva in someone’s mouth is sex to you … then it is.

If transferring certain bodily fluids is sex to you … then it is.

And if two of those things, none of those things, or all of those things are sex to you … then they are (or aren’t).

So if I had to scribe a dictionary definition of sex, what would it say?

Sex (seks) – noun – Whatever you damn well think it is.

Keep Thinking (about sex)


PS. Despite the fact that I believe that you can define sex however you'd like, I do also still believe that when you're having sex, it needs to be consensual.

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