Monday, June 29, 2009

Episode I: Prophecy of the Immaculate

This is the ... nerdiest ... thing I've ever been inspired to write. But sometimes you have to go with where your creativity is taking you. It was an adventure for me, and as a result, there are a few things I think you should keep in mind as a reader.

As you’ll quickly figure out, this is a piece based on the Star Wars Saga. It's also (loosely) based upon one of my own personal real-life experiences. Obviously, there are pieces of fiction in the reality, and departures from original plot schemes. If you are a Star Wars aficionado, I apologize in advance.

Plus, my real life co-star's name (as far as I deigned to learn) was Luke Skywalker. It seemed an obvious lens through which to write the piece.

One other fun thing that I really enjoyed incorporating into this piece was the dialogue. All of the dialogue throughout is either an echo of dialogue/text messages/communication that happened between Luke Skywalker and myself, or almost direct quotes from the original 3 movies in the Star Wars series. You would be surprised how much you can learn about sex from watching star wars!

Also, because the length of this piece is epic (I mean, it’s a Star Wars piece, how could it not be epic), I will only be releasing half of it in this posting. (I thought about a Triology … but it wouldn’t have worked well, ha.) The other half will be released at the end of the week, so keep an eye out!



A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….

It is a period of civil war. Rebel fighters, seducing their way into the bedrooms of top-ranking officers, have won their first victory against the Evil Anti-Sex Empire.

Though many losses were sustained, one freedom fighter was able to steal the plans to the Life Star – an armored eugenics station with enough power to destroy all difference and create a population where sex is a loathed act.

Pursued by EASE’s evil agents, a princess sends a message to one of the last living Knights of a religion considered long-dead…


“Help me, Brenna Morsan; you’re my only hope.”

Her head pounded with the desperate plea of Princess Leia. A small droid had catapulted itself into her reverie during an intense masturbation session. She hadn’t quite yet cum when the damn chode-looking thing and it’s golden “life” partner came crashing through her domicile’s door.

EASE had ruined much for her, and now had indirectly ruined this, her most cherished of activities.

Before EASE’s militaristic and sex negative reign spread throughout the galaxy, people lived by the simple, loving tenets of the religion of The Thrust. Sex was considered a normal, natural part of life. It was something to be studied, something to be revered – an activity to be saved at all cost. Sex used to be protected by an order of Jedi Knights, trained in meticulous mastery of The Thrust. Before EASE, the world was full of love and sex and magic. It was a time of beauty and light.

But with all things light … there is also a dark side.

The Emperor of the Anti-Sex Empire knew only too well the dark side of The Thrust. He had become a victim of those who would use The Thrust for evil instead of good. Being strong in The Thrust, he trained day and night in order to take vengeance against those who violated his being. After enacting his vengeance, he realized his dark thirst for power remained unquenched. That is when he turned his sights to the galaxy. With cunning and the power to persuade many Jedi Knights to embrace the Dark Side, he grew closer to his end-game when he slew a powerful oppositional leader and named himself Emperor.

Brenna felt that had the Emperor only known the light side of The Thrust before his apprenticeship came, he would not have trained with hate and vengeance in his heart. His crusade to end sex would never have come to be.

Alas, it was too late, the tendrils of the Dark Side corrupting the strongest in the order of Jedi Knights – those sworn to protect the precepts of The Thrust. Under the Emperor’s reign, sex went from consensual and joyous to simply a means by which to demonstrate power.

A deep, disturbing shudder ran through her body at the thought.

In the entire galaxy, she was one of three living Jedi Knights. The emperor was one. His lieutenant, Darth Vader – one of the most powerful Jedi Knights in written history – was the other. She was the only one whose power came from the light, and no match for the combined strength of Vader and the Emperor. It had been the reason for her self-elected exile.

Should there be any hope for the galaxy, she would have to break this exile and put herself at risk.

Princess Leia’s message had suggested she find and train another in The Thrust. At first, she had regarded such a suggestion as foolhardy – the rebellion’s last desperate attempt at freedom. She would not have even considered it, had Princess Leia not reminded her of the last prophecy uttered by final Oracle of the Thrust: “The one who will overturn evil will be pure of heart, pure of body, and naturally strong in The Thrust. They will be young, yet will have lived through many more cycles of the moons than one would expect.”

Pure of body.... A virgin.

Not just any virgin, but an older virgin who had never been touched – in any way.

Princess Leia’s message said the rebel intelligence had located the planet on which the virgin would be located, but hadn’t been able to identify this prophesized youth. She would have to find this virgin on her own.

“Help me, Brenna Morsan; you’re my only hope.”


With the droids in tow, Brenna disembarked upon a planet in the outer-southern reaches of the galaxy. It was a desert planet. Hot. Dry. If allowed to develop organically, this planet would not normally be able to sustain life. Early galactic imperialists, in the hope of extending their empires further, had conquered a planet farther north in the galaxy and had set up infrastructure to export water regularly to this wasteland.

Both planets belonged to EASE now…

She turned her face to the sky, shadowing her eyes from the penetrating light of the sun. The shadow of the planet’s three moons appeared to her, and the words of the oracle rang in her head, “They will be young, yet will have lived through many more cycles of the moons than one would expect.”

The virgin was here, living under these three moons. Even here, on the edge of the city-center, she could feel the tugs of The Thrust. Her body was already starting to respond, nipples getting taught under her robes, her breath quickening, her nether-lips swelling with arousal. It had been a long journey, and she was still wound up from not being able to complete her masturbation session so many weeks ago. She wanted nothing more than to let the power of The Thrust into her body, taking her over the edge into a much needed release.

But she knew that there was too much at stake, and she couldn’t afford to be reckless by having an orgasm in public – to even kiss someone in public was punishable by death. She took two deep breaths, assuaging her body’s aroused state, and conferred with her companions. It was decided after finding lodging, and cleaning the grime of the journey away, they would visit an establishment in the city called “Good Luck Cantina.” According to the information programmed into the R2 unit, this is where the city’s youth went to enjoy each other’s company. Should the Good Luck Cantina prove fruitless, they would move to Akbar, where youth with more homogenous tastes went to socialize.

When they checked into their lodging, she commissioned a polish and oil bath for her robotic companions, and a fragranced water bath for herself. After weeks in transit, the warm, slightly fragranced water felt like heaven, and erased the signs of her weeks of travel. With the grime gone from her person, she began to style herself for her mission.

Seducing a Padawan took making a great deal of skill look completely effortless. She was afraid that the toll of years would show, but The Thrust had been good to her. Although she had seen many decades, her body and face looked no older than one who had lived for 25 years. She was still curvaceous and hale, her breasts small, but pert, her skin taught over her old bones, belying the true burden her body had endured. With her newly cleaned energy, she felt she would have no problem seducing one so young, especially one who had never experienced the touch of another person.

Deeming them worthy of knowledge of The Thrust was entirely another matter.

When she and the Droids reached the Good Luck Cantina, the d├ęcor was deep, dark, and red. The decorations were eastern in nature, and young people littered the bar. Drink in hand, the droids in tow, she chose a corner ideal for being able to survey a good portion of people patronizing the cantina that night. She would drink, she would talk to the droids, and she would wait.

And wait.

At one point, the C3 droid analyzed the odds and informed her it would be statistically helpful to move on to Akbar. The R2-Unit beeped his disagreement and the C3 droid informed her that the R2 unit thought it wise to stay.

She decided on a compromise of one last sweep before moving on, but first had to relieve herself of all the drinks she had consumed while waiting.

Walking back from the bathroom, she swept the room – and felt The Thrust reverberate throughout her body.

The presence of the force in another after so many years of absence hit her like a shockwave. It reverberated all through her, stimulating every nerve ending in her body. Knowing public orgasm could to lead to capture and death, she ran back to the bathroom.

Once in a stall, she let it overtake her. The Thrust flowed into her and almost completely destroyed her sense of consciousness. Her breathing became labored, and her clitoris throbbed and delivered pleasure to her of its own volition. She braced herself against the wall, knowing that her orgasm would come quickly after so long without one. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, and she bore down with her pelvic muscles and welcomed the power of The Thrust into her body once more. The orgasm took her harshly, but pleasantly; leaving her sweaty and panting in the bathroom stall.

They were here – he was here. She could sense him.

She walked out of the bathroom, and took a lap around the bar. There he was, in a group of young men his age.

He was not what she had expected. In terms of his age, it was true – he was older than most who were pure of body. But he was beautiful. How someone had not desired him up until this point was puzzling. But should he truly be the subject of prophesy, Brenna could imagine how years of celibacy behind the visage of one so aesthetically pleasing could lead to a build-up of The Thrust.

If she could guide him in the light, perhaps he could take on Vader and the Emperor.

Not wanting to have to engage his friends, she caught him at a moment when he was alone. Her beauty was great naturally, but mastery of The Thrust intensified it to a fine point. When she approached, he was taken aback, but quickly recovered.

“I’m Brenna.”


They engaged in small, polite conversation for a time, and she could feel the energies of The Thrust escalating her feelings of desire. It was taking a great deal to remain in control and she was almost grateful when one of the droids requested an interruption. After politely excusing herself, the R2 unit informed her that documentation of the boy would be needed. Should she be compromised by EASE, the rebellion would need recourse.

The R2 unit informed her that the required documentation would need to leave room for little doubt in regard to the boy’s identity. She understood then that a public display of sexuality needed to occur – an action which was forbidden on any EASE ruled planet. She began to fill with uneasy excitement as she realized the danger of what she was about to attempt.

However dangerous, it needed to be done.

She dismissed the droids for a moment and turned her attention back to Luke. As she knew this young man was never going to make a first move, it was time to take matters into her own hands. With the power of The Thrust, you could convince the weak minded to do your bidding with intensity of thought and a wave of your hand. It would not be this simple with Luke, but she had a feeling her approach was going to prove fruitful.

So she turned to him and put $5 into his hands.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to buy me another drink. I’m going to go to the bathroom and come back. Meet me in that corner, and we’re going to make-out. That okay with you?”

He looked her in the eyes at first with shock, and then with what she felt was a profound sense of understanding.

“Yes, it is.”

Desire swelled in her, and the twitch in his pants belied his excitement as well.

On her way to the bathroom, she informed the droids of the situation. It was agreed that both droids would stay long enough to document the meeting, and then would depart to arrange transport off the planet. Public displays of sexuality would mean they all didn’t have much time after the initial contact. Imperial soldiers would be called, and they would be forced to flee.

As she relieved herself, a knot of excitement formed in her stomach. Being a life-long student of The Thrust, she understood the erotic potential of both danger and transgression, and she was excited that this young man would enter into this realm of consciousness on the coat-tails of such concepts. It was good to enter The Thrust with wideness of scope.

With a gait of determination, she walked back to the location where she was to meet him … and realized she did not remember his name. The drinks and The Thrust had clouded her thoughts, and the information was gone from her memory. She would have to recover it for the purposes of documentation later. When she returned to the corner, she could see that he was still attempting to procure the drink in the busy cantina. She conferred with the droids one last time, and sent them away as he returned to her.

She took the beer from his hand, their fingers just barely touching. She could see the flush of blood in his cheeks, and felt a similar flush in her own.

“You realize what you’re getting into, right?”


With his permission, she pulled his face into hers, running her fingers through his short hair. They began to kiss as the flash from the R2 unit’s capture device documented activity for the good of the rebellion. They kissed and kissed and kissed.

And it … was horrible.

She sighed.

“How do you feel about constructive criticism?”

He, as it turned out, was perfectly okay with constructive criticism. And so, in the fleeting moments they had, she began to teach. She began with simple instructions like “slow down,” and “don’t be afraid to touch me.” She put his hands where she wanted them, and guided the rhythm of their display. In between moments of instruction, she confirmed that he was completely untouched by the hands of a lover, minus the occasional kiss. She also reconfirmed his name.

“So, I totally forgot your name … what is it again?”


"Like Luke Skywalker. I'll remember now."

"And what was yours again?"


With his name confirmed, she continued their lesson. Eyes in the cantina watched as their display intensified. Her vulva ached with the pulsating throb of blood, and she wanted nothing more than to sheath him in her, full to the hilt. But to rush things would endanger her cause.

She pulled herself away.

The patrons of the bar, both due to the late hour and due to the public display which would soon bring the imperial guard to the Good Luck Cantina, had dissipated. The barkeep announced closing.

“We should find my friends.”

“Let’s check the bathroom.”

They found his friends cleaning up after a long night of drinking, and Luke informed them he would meet them outside. Brenna and Luke walked outside with one another, to find Luke’s friend’s … vocally harmonizing. It made Brenna smile inwardly, and helped her to further understand how Luke could have passed 21 years of age without ever having felt the touch of another person.

“Kiss me in front of you friends.”


She pressed him against the wall of the Cantina, bringing forth the desire felt earlier, but with a desperate edge to it. She didn’t want to end the reverie, but young Skywalker needed to be informed of his destiny. As she was about to start, however, he surprised her.

“My friends are waiting, I have to go.”

And before she could respond, he strode over to his friends and they disappeared around a corner.

Feeling distraught at having been distracted by the intoxicating push from The Thrust, she wondered if she would be able to find him again. As she waited for the droids to return with their exit strategy, she pondered what the most logical next step would be.

Just as she was coming to a conclusion that fit her needs, Luke Skywalker came back.

“My friends wouldn’t let me leave without finding out who you are.”

“Smart friends.”

She explained to him that she was aiding the rebellion, and had been sent on a mission to find him. She explained that when they had kissed, she knew that he could be trained as a Jedi and gain mastery of The Thrust, should he choose to continue his lessons with her.

“The Thrust?”

“The Thrust is what gives Jedi their power. It’s an energy field created by all living things: it surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.”

She explained his innate strength, and that because of it, he would be integral in the success of the rebellion. She also explained that they would need to leave, immediately, and a transport was awaiting their departure.

He looked at her with somber eyes, and nodded his head in agreement.

They stole away to the transport.


A month would pass before they would arrive at their location – Planet Westwood. Within that month, Luke prepared for his training in isolation. He could not see or interact with Brenna, save for small electronic communications via the R2 and C3 units. She was glad for his isolation. If there were interaction between them, she was sure she would compromise his training by deflowering him too early. Although she let The Thrust run through her alone on a regular basis, she had not shared the power of The Thrust with another for a long period of time.

And so they spoke through the droids.

One such message, she sent to remind Luke of what had transpired within the Cantina. She praised his alacrity in learning, and stressed that time should be spent in contemplation around the event. She stressed that he had far to go, but his vast potential was heartening.

Young Skywalker replied with a message of genuine gratitude for the experience. The final line of his correspondence made her smile: “I may never see them again, but because of you, all my friends think I’m a total player.”

There was no correspondence between them until one day Brenna awoke with knowledge of

when Luke would begin his transition from man to Jedi. It feel at a date far beyond his month of isolation, and that troubled Brenna, but her innate feeling could not be shaken.

She sent the C3 unit to inform him that June 18th would be the day. Luke Skywalker’s Day to prove he was ready to begin his apprenticeship in The Thrust.

Upon receiving the message, the C3 unit came back with a reply message of great urgency. The droid related that “Master Luke” – as the droid had come to call him – had a premonition that Planet Westwood was not an appropriate place to train. He felt that there would be a dark familial disturbance.

She considered his feeling, and meditated for a time to try to mete out a better location. She had no insight, so sent a message via droid telling Luke Skywalker that it seemed it would be his responsibility to find a place.

A few days later, the R2 unit was sent to her carrying a simple message.

“Planet Angeleno.”

So it would be.


As their ship came out of their Light Speed jump, Planet Angeleno came into view.

She had not known what to expect from the simple missive sent by Luke about their destination. She hadn’t known what kind of planet they would land on.

It was … breathtaking. A prime ground for training one in The Thrust. She was pleased.

The landscape was incredible, but as the ship made its descent, a sense of darkness filled her. She began uncontrollably trembling. So much so, the R2 droid beeped its concern.

“A tremor in The Thrust. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my last apprentice.”

Darth Vader. Once her most acclaimed pupil, he had been seduced by the Dark Side of The Thrust and had become the puppet of the Emperor. The feeling of her presence was reciprocally felt by Vader, and she steeled herself. Imperial troops were not currently present, but she knew they soon would be. It was a time for action.

Luke would have to evacuate the ship and land on Angeleno by himself. They had the advantage of surprise, and Luke had the advantage of anonymity. If they could get Skywalker onto Angeleno before the empire’s troops came into sight, he could be saved through the creation of diversion. Vader knew she was there, but it was her hope that he could not sense Luke.

Luke, already a skilled pilot, prepared the ship’s tender for his journey to Angeleno. Brenna prepped Han Solo, the ship’s pilot, for the reality that they would soon be chased by what she imagined was going to be a large imperial fleet. Luckily for them all, Han Solo was a competent pilot who had escaped many an imperial fighter before.

They would quite desperately need his skill.

Luke had prepared quickly and the tender was already flying toward Angeleno when the C3 droid delivered his final missive:

“I’m looking forward to your return. Take your time.”

Time he would get.


Shortly after Luke’s transport was obstructed by the atmosphere of Angeleno, imperial forces appeared.

Han Solo jumped immediately into action. Through a blur of blasts coming from Imperial ships, he jumped into light speed. So much time had been lost already. She hoped that imperial forces would not take chase.

It turned out to be too much to hope for.

They jumped across the galaxy, only to be met by more fire from the imperial fleet at every turn. Their fire was precise, but Han Solo’s instinct and skill far outweighed their meticulous training. EASE chased them farther and farther away from Angeleno, and she could not help but feeling incredibly lost.

After what seemed like hours of flight, Han Solo brought them into the obscure system of Pasadena. The imperial forces did not give chase. They would be able to return to Angeleno.

They landed on a forest planet, and took time to regroup. Much to her chagrin, she was not the only one who was lost. At some point in their flight, the navigation system on the Millennium Falcon had been damaged. Finding Angeleno again without one would be near impossible.

She thought of Luke, alone on Angeleno, waiting for her to reappear, and she knew that failure was not an option.

Their only hope was to scour the planet they had landed on to see if there were any materials available to fix the navigation system. Leaving Han Solo and his co-pilot behind to try to fix the nav system on their own, she traversed the forest at a slow pace hoping against hope that she would come across something – anything. Just as she was giving up all hope – she spotted movement in the brush to her right.

Not wanting to startle whatever it was that was that waited there, she opened her hands in symbol of peace, and approached the brush slowly.

A small adorable creature wielding a crudely made spear popped out of the bushes. It brought the spear to her throat and made a slightly threatening, but mostly adorable growl. It looked like a mix between a koala and a bear, and was a deep black color, with vibrant red streaks throughout its coat. Brenna moved her consciousness out into the force to try to gauge the situation. Although this creature looked fierce, it Brenna could sense it was imbued strictly with light. Inwardly, Brenna sighed with relief.

She dropped to her knees to prove she meant no harm. She utilized the C3 unit to translate to the creature the situation, causing the creature to drop its spear. Brenna introduced herself and learned the creature’s name was Debbers, her people were called Ewoks, and that they were on Endor – a planet sympathetic to the cause of the rebellion.

After Brenna shared the harrowing details of their plight, Debbers immediately sprang in to action. Debbers informed Brenna that she would offer whatever help she had the power to provide, and then ran off into the forest on short but able legs.

Brenna and the C3 unit waited. Shortly after she had left, Debbers came back with equipment to help fix the navigation system, alongside exact coordinates to get back to Angeleno. Although they had just met, Brenna felt an easy camaraderie with Debbers, and embraced her with the full force of her gratitude. She had a feeling they would meet again.


Stay Tuned for Episode 2: The Deflowering of Skywalker